LAUGHTER for the soul

Waiting till the last minute

Pastor Meyer waited in line to fill his car with gas just before a long holiday weekend. There were many cars ahead of him in the service station. Finally, he saw a member and got out to chat.

The member remarked, "it seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip." The minister smiled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."

A Baptist cowboy

A cowboy, who just moved to Wyoming from Texas , walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in

"There is no God"

A Lutheran, who was a senior at the University was getting rather tired of professors who felt they had to teach atheism. His professor started the class by saying the following: "Students, is there anyone here who can see God? If so, raise your hand. If there is anyone here who can hear God, raise your hand. If there is anyone who can smell God, raise your hand." After a short pause, with no response from the students, he concluded, "Since no one can see, smell or hear God, there is no God." The student then raised his hand and

When a Lutheran do as the Lutherans

 When you're a Lutheran, do as the Lutherans do

Lutherans do:

...volunteer to shovel the sidewalk rather than take the only open pew up front.

...sometime skip the last hymn to make sure church lasts exactly 60 minutes.

...hold a hymnal ...during the entire service  but never look down at it.

... hum the hymns during communion so they can see who's at church that Sunday.

Pontius who?

The Sunday school teacher asked the younger children to draw pictures illustrating the Christmas story.  She walked by and noticed one little boy drawing an airplane! "What Bible story are you drawing?" she asked.  "This is the Flight into Egypt," the little boy answered.  "See, here is Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus. And this," he said, pointing to the front of the plane, "is Pontius. He's the Pilot."

Then this is for you

2nd Lutheran Lutheran supports a missionary in Togo. When the usher passed the plate to Mr Davy he shook his head and whispered, "I never to give to missions". The usher replied, "then please, be our guest and take something out, this money for helping the heathen".

Should have booked

The Christmas eve nativity play at St Johns Lutheran was packed with parents, relatives, visitors and members. Joseph and Mary were going from house to house knocking on the doors and asking it there was any room for them. As they continued to get "no room" answers, a teenage voice from the back yelled "YOU SHOULD HAVE BOOKED!"

Who is the real virgin?

Who is the Real Virgin?
A ten-year-old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible.  Then one day she floored her grandmother by asking, "Which virgin was the mother of Jesus?  The virgin Mary or the King James Virgin?"

They would recognize my face

A Lutheran pastor, a Roman Catholic priest, and a Methodist pastor went for a hike one day. It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted when they came upon a small lake.Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and jumped in the water.

As they were getting out of the lake, who should come along but a group of ladies from town. Unable to get to their clothes in time, the Methodist and the Catholic covered their privates and the Lutheran covered his

Revivals aren't always about gaining people....

In a small town in Missouri, three of the local churches decided that they would pool their resources and have a revival. After the revival had concluded, the three pastors were discussing the results with one another:
The Methodist minister said, "The revival worked out great for us! We gained four new families."
The Baptist preacher said, "We did better than that! We gained six new families."
The Lutheran pastor said, "Well, we did even better than that! We got rid of our 10 biggest trouble makers!