LAUGHTER for the soul

Look what I found in the Bible

Little Tyler opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages with notes and underlines. Suddenly something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and stared at it. It was an old leaf that had been pressed flat over the years. "Mom, look what I found" the boy shouted. "What have you got there, dear"? With excitement, Tyler answered, "I think it's Adam"s underwear!"

Church council decision

A man was in the hospital recovering from a bypass operation. A member of his Church's Council came to visit & said that he brought greetings from the entire Council and their wishes that he should recover soon and live a long and healthy life.

The man thanked him and said that was very nice. He was somewhat taken aback when the visitor added, "It's more than 'nice'. It was an official resolution... passed by a vote of 14 to 7". "

Life after death

"Do you believe in life after death" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes sir" the employee replied. "Well that makes everything just fine then", the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped by to see you!"

Those wanting to be married

A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service. After the benediction he had planned to call the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony before the congregation. For the life of him, he couldn't think of the names of those who were to be married.
"Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?" he requested. Immediately, nine single ladies, three widows, four widowers, and six single men stepped to the front.

Remember to write to Dad

A student taking summer classes became somewhat wrapped up in the cycle of classes, studying, going out with friends, and sleeping.  The students' parents waited patiently for a letter, or a card, or an email, or something...but to no avail.

Two weeks after Father's Day had passed by, the student's father wrote a short note and put it in the mail:

"We received your last letter with much joy and excitement!  Of course that was two years ago, and we're not sure you're even alive, so we're stopping paying tuition until we see proof of your ongoing existence.  Love, Dad."

Why Lutheranan pastors wear the clergy collar

I once heard of a pastor who was offering a series of children's sermons on the symbols of the church. On one Sunday the pastor was speaking about vestments and asked the question, "Why do you think I wear this collar?" To this question came the response, "Because it kills fleas and ticks for up to 5 months."

Proper length of a Sermon

How long should a good sermon be? It should be like a woman's skirt, long enough to cover the essentials and short enough to keep you interested!

Pray before eating

Everone was seated around the table as the food was being served. Little Joe started eating right away. His mother asked him to wait until the prayer was said. "I don't have to", the little boy replied. "Of course, you do", his mother insisted. "We say prayer before eating in our house." "That's in our house," Joe explained, "but this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook.

God hiding

One Sunday as they drove home from church, a little girl turned to her mother and said, "Mommy, there’s something about the preacher’s message this morning that I don’t understand." The mother said, "Oh? What is it?" The little girl replied, "Well, he said that God is bigger than we are. He said God is so big that He could hold the whole world in His hand. Is that true?" The mother replied, "Yes, that's true, honey." "But Mommy, he also said that God comes to live inside of us when we believe in Jesus as our Savior. Is that true, too?" Again, the mother assured the little girl that what the pastor had said was true. With a puzzled look on her face the little girl then asked, "If God is bigger than us and He lives in us, wouldn't He show through?"

Fear this

A minister in Florida complained that it was difficult to get his congregation to feel fear. "It's so beautiful here in the winter," he said, "that heaven doesn't interest them.  And it's so hot here in the summer that hell doesn't scare them."